When your best idea still gets a “no.”

Reader,

When you make a case for something you believe in, you may be missing the one step that matters most.

How do I know? I’ve made this mistake many times—both as a rising leader and as a CEO.

It starts with a simple assumption that’s so easy to make:

It’s a good idea.

It was December 2001, and I was hired to launch a unique volunteer campaign—just months after 9/11. We needed revenue badly and had found a way to create a true win-win for our investors.

In fact, it was a brilliant approach: develop rising corporate leaders into future community leaders and executives.

So I assumed, “It’s a good idea. Of course you’ll say yes.”

But when I explained it to CEOs, they said no.

Walk in their shoes.

Why? I expected them to see the idea’s merit and appreciate my perspective.

But that winter, sitting across from each CEO to make the case for our campaign, I realized something:

Before I could ask for anything, I needed to understand what their life was like.

Right before they met with me, they were thinking about something else.
There were problems waiting in their inbox.
Commitments stacking up—all important.
And every “yes” came at a cost.
So, I had to expand my thinking far beyond my years. I had to meet them in the moment.

Start at the beginning of the sentence.

It’s easy to forget: no one else is thinking about what you’re thinking about right now.

To help someone see the value in what you’re there to say, you have to start at the very beginning of the sentence.

“The reason I’m here is... In the 30 minutes we have, I’d love to understand (1–2 questions you want to ask)...and share (the one thing you’re here to say).”

Never jump into your ask without context.

If you do, the other person stays on edge, waiting for the point—and working way too hard to figure you out.

A powerful lesson.

I used to present, sell, lead, and ask as if I were a storyteller. Start with a hook. Build interest. Work toward a powerful climax.

Or so I thought.

One day, a CEO pulled me aside and changed my view forever:

“I love these meetings. They’re always valuable. But I can’t relax.
I’m constantly wondering where you’re going. I can’t decompress until I understand.
In every other part of my life, I have to solve all the problems and figure out what to do next.
When I meet with you, I just want to relax—not work so hard to figure out what you’re trying to do.”

Funny. I thought I was being interesting—even strategic.

But what your CEO, your leaders, and your team need most…is for you to be clear and direct.

Discover their reason.

Before you ask for anything:

Consider all the reasons this person might say yes.
Consider the reasons they might say no.
Understand what their life is like right now.
Figure out how to align your ask with their needs—not just yours.

Then, put yourself in their shoes. Connect the dots for them.

Center your language around their reasons, not your own.

And be direct.

Growing influence.

Influence isn’t about having the best idea or the most compelling perspective. It’s about moving people.

And people only move when they see how your ask connects to their priorities—in this specific moment in time.

Not what mattered last month. Not what mattered last year. This moment. These needs. These considerations.

Whether you're trying to:

Influence your organization’s priorities
Change how a goal is achieved
Modify a timeline or pace
Win a new client
Shift a team member’s attitude
Lead and motivate your team
Serve effectively on a board

...be mindful of how easy it is—whether you're a rising leader or the boss—to assume what’s important to you will be important to them.

It’s up to you to influence change.

Whenever you feel stuck or frustrated by a lack of momentum or agreement, remember:

It’s up to you—every step of the way.

From the very beginning of the sentence (the moment you have a new idea),

…to the very end (the moment someone buys in and says yes).

✅ Check your assumptions at the door.
✅ Work hard to understand the other person’s priorities.
✅ Align your ask to what matters to them.
✅ Connect the dots for them.
✅ Be direct.

And a quick ask.

It would be an honor to help the rising leaders in your organization—or in your circle of influence—see from a higher vantage point so they can make the impact they’re capable of.

If this resonated with you, I’d be grateful if you passed it along. You can forward this email to your team or to a rising leader you know, along with a simple note like: