When power dynamics go wrong (and a better way)


Reader,

Positional power and authority is one of those topics that can trip up leaders at any level and age.

In this email, we’re diving into four types of dysfunctional power dynamics:
Overbearing Power, Distrusting Power, Unacknowledged Power, and Insecure Power.

And, I'll offer a simple perspective to help you relate to power—yours and others—in a healthy way.

Some roles come with authority.

In most companies, certain roles carry authority and power that match their level of responsibility.

When healthy, positional authority enables decisions to flow throughout an organization.

When unhealthy, it can short-circuit decisions, limit potential, and leave lasting negative effects.

Here are four common types of dysfunctional power:

#1 Overbearing Power

This kind of power dominates, dictates, and behaves harshly, haughtily, or arrogantly—and it’s difficult, if not impossible, to ignore.

The leader makes all the decisions, overrides others, and is critical or judgmental.

So, the team responds by avoiding, guarding, and self-protecting. Relationships are strained. Decisions stall.

#2 Distrusting Power

This kind of power questions, mistrusts, and lacks confidence in others. It’s suspicious and doubtful.

The leader operates as if there’s one right way, is dissatisfied with others’ work, and often asks:
“Why did you do that?”
“Why did this happen?”

The team avoids mistakes and waits for the distrusting leader to weigh in.

#3 Unacknowledged Power

This type of power doesn’t admit it exists—so it pretends, hides, minimizes, and dismisses its presence and impact.

The leader avoids using authority, pushes decisions downward, assumes all power is bad, and wants to be seen positively.

The result? Confusion. Decisions don’t get made.

#4 Insecure Power

This type of power doubts itself. It’s unsteady—oscillating between healthy authority and dysfunctional expressions of power.

The leader is unpredictable: calm and clear one day, overbearing or distrusting the next. Priorities shift with tides of their confidence and insecurity.

The team is stressed and unsure how to respond.

The influence of hierarchy.

Most org charts are designed to function with hierarchy, where higher level roles have higher levels of authority and power—even if unclear or unspoken. And it influences:

  • How you relate to power
  • How you respond to power
  • How you think others will respond to your power

And hierarchy puts a lot of pressure on the leader to make things happen and get things done.

Driving or resisting?

Pressure causes many leaders to use force—sometimes without realizing it.

  • You resist: pushing away others’ thoughts, ideas, methods, and decisions.
  • You drive: pushing forward your own.

The power of neutral.

Power, in and of itself, is neutral.

It’s simply the capacity to act and do things effectively. In fact, the closest synonym to power is strength.

I think of water.

Water is a powerful force—it carves through mountains and removes obstacles.

Yet it remains calm within, undisturbed on the surface, and accepts whatever is thrown into it.

Healthy power is the balance of strength + fluidity.

It is flexible.
It gravitates toward a neutral position.
It accepts.

When you recognize power as neutral—not good or bad—it frees you up to make it a healthy source of strength that helps you and your team succeed.

Understanding yourself.

Before you can use positional power well, you need to understand your own tendencies:

  • On your worst day, which type of dysfunctional power do you lean toward?
  • What experiences shaped how you feel about power—your own and others’?
  • What assumptions do you have about how others will respond to your authority?

A model for healthy leadership.

Water offers a useful model for leadership that’s strong and decisive—able to move things forward and remove barriers. Yet accepting and undisturbed within, able to calmly respond to whatever is thrown your way.

Perfection isn’t possible. There is no one right way.

Knowing this frees you to stop pushing away or pushing forward.

Then, you can work with your team to define what excellent, successful work looks like—and go after it together.

Enjoy.

Sara

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