There's a hidden cost to burnout

Reader,

Burnout isn’t where anyone intends to end up. No one sets out thinking, “I’m going to work so hard that I bring myself to the brink of burnout.” But it happens all the time.

It’s never fun teetering on the edge yourself—and sometimes even harder to watch someone else get there.

We usually respond to burnout with good-intentioned ideas about wellness programs, flexible schedules, or reminders to “take care of yourself.” A simple solution to a complex issue.

This week and next, I want to go deeper. Not with fixes, but with questions:

How is burnout actually perceived and experienced in the workplace?
How does our perception of it derail our efforts to address it?

Because here’s the truth: well-being programs alone don’t make burnout go away.

What burnout really feels like.

Burnout is not just exhaustion. It’s when you’re so full, so overwhelmed, that at any moment the dam might burst.

Years ago, I was sitting in a circle with my business partners and a coach. Someone asked:
“What’s something you want us to know—something you’d regret not saying?”

The dam broke. I poured out my stress and frustration. And then I finally said the thing I didn’t know I needed to admit:
“I’m giving my very best to everyone except my family. All they get are the leftovers.”

There it was. The truth I hadn’t been able to name. And that’s the heart of burnout: pouring yourself out everywhere except where it matters most. The result is dissonance—like being at odds with yourself.

What burnout looks like from the outside.

When someone on a team is close to burnout, their behaviors can look like:

Resistant: protective against anything more.
Reactive: speeding up, trying to dig out of the hole.
Constricted: pulling back, getting smaller.
Stressed: always on the verge.

That was me. And here’s the risk: when others see these behaviors, they often interpret them as confirmation:

They’re not ready.
They’re not the right person.
They can’t grow.

During my own season of burnout, I could sense people worrying about me. Their doubt only deepened my own.

The hidden cost of burnout.

The impact of doubt was actually more harmful than the burnout itself.

Because when others doubted me, I began to doubt myself. Instead of moving forward, I second-guessed. Waited for affirmation. Hesitated.

And my hesitation confirmed the doubts of those around me. Their fears became my fears, until I couldn’t tell the difference between burnout and self-doubt.

This is the bigger concern: burnout doesn’t just drain energy. It erodes confidence—both our own and the confidence others have in us.

How leaders often respond.

Imagine watching someone at the gym struggle under heavy weights. The trainer sees the strain and decides to swap in five-pound dumbbells—or worse, he starts lifting the weight for them.

We know this response would actually prevent growth, but leaders do something similar when they see someone struggling at work:

Fixing. Taking things off their plate.
Protecting. Filtering or minimizing their workload.

It helps in the short-term, but in the long run, it undermines capacity and confidence.

The questions to ask.
Here’s something to reflect on:

Do you see signs of burnout in yourself or a team member?
Is it causing doubt about someone’s abilities?
Could your responses to burnout be unintentionally undermining their confidence?

What might it look like to approach burnout differently—to support someone in building both capacity and confidence, even in struggle?

Read the next post about why good intentions sometimes cause burnout—and how rethinking work priorities might be the shift we need.