Learning from being stuck: signs that point the way

Reader,

I'm about to launch something really exciting! That’s not what this email is about, but it got me thinking about something important.

My one aim is to help rising leaders develop themselves into truly great leaders of teams. Why? So they don’t feel stuck waiting around for a fabulous boss or company to make it happen.

Being stuck is the worst.
But, being stuck is also the best. The feeling we get when we realize we’re stuck screams to us, “Something has to change.”

Without that realization, too many leaders try to make micro improvements without noticing what they really need: a brand new foundation.

This email explores the paradox of feeling stuck—and ways to unlock new movement and progress.

Following the signs.
You probably noticed the signs you needed to grow as a leader faster than I did. Me? I completely misread the cues.

As a rising leader, I experienced constant resistance from a leader I worked with. He incessantly questioned everything, pushed back, and disagreed. Honestly, he was pretty mean about it. So he became the problem I tried to solve:

How do I change these dynamics?
How do I limit his input?
Who can influence him to show up differently?

And I missed the real signs: I needed to grow as a leader. I was operating like a solo act, moving too far ahead of everyone, and neglecting what leadership really requires:

Articulating a clear vision.
Giving people time to understand, inform, and buy into that vision.
Collaborating and engaging others at every stage.
Elevating the work through many different perspectives.

Resistance is one of the most powerful signs you’re stuck and it’s time to grow—but I couldn’t see it.

Solving the wrong problem.
Why did I miss the signs?

It’s complex. I was thriving in some areas, so I focused there. The other leader did display poor behavior, so I focused there. There was plenty of work to be done, so I focused there too.

And I stayed stuck for a long time, because I never made the one assumption I should have: I need to grow as a leader.

By solving for every problem besides me, I gave up my agency. Eventually, I began to feel like a victim of the circumstances around me.

The rising leader’s dilemma.
Rising leaders have unique challenges and opportunities to navigate.

You’re leading a team, responsible for major aspects of the organization’s work, and are the bridge between the leaders at the top and the people on the ground. There’s endless work to be done and problems to solve.

Yet your future success depends on your ability to make time to grow yourself now.

Getting unstuck.
I’ve never met a leader who didn’t get stuck from time to time—even founders with a deeply important purpose for their company.

Here are the most useful shifts I've made and seen in other leaders:

Re-define “stuck.” Stuck isn’t failure. It’s a road sign telling you it’s time to grow.
Follow the resistance. Like tracking a lost dog through the forest, follow every sign of resistance:
- A team member keeps disagreeing.
- Your boss resists a message you keep repeating.
- You’re not gaining traction where you’ve poured in effort.
Make the way you lead your primary focus.

Because I didn’t notice the early cues, the resistance I faced only grew stronger. My coach once listened patiently while I poured out my frustrations about how difficult someone else was making things. Then he said:

“Sara, there are other leaders who would be sitting in your exact same situation and they’d be thriving right now.”

This truth has stayed with me and I share it often with rising leaders: you don’t have to stay stuck. You could thrive right now, in the very same situation that frustrates you.

That's why the way out of stuck is to know that unstuck is possible.

Next week, I’ll dive deeper into how a rising leader can move from stuck to thriving through their own agency.