Are you measuring commitment—or something else entirely?

Reader,

One question I asked myself in every leadership role: Is my team committed?

Like a hawk, I watched for signs, trying to gauge the answer—and reacted to what I saw.

But over time, I realized I was asking the wrong question.

What are you really asking?

When leaders wonder about their team’s commitment, there’s often an underlying mix of fear, stress, or frustration.

Why? Because a team’s level of commitment directly affects your quality of life.

If your team isn’t committed:

• The brunt of the work falls on you.
• It’s harder to take a real break.
• Future potential is limited.
• You can’t fully exhale when you're unsure if others will step up when it counts.
• You’re more likely to step in and do it yourself.

Sitting in all the chairs.

That’s exactly what I did.

Because I wasn’t sure my team was committed, I spent a lot of energy noticing where they fell short.

One day, after venting to my coach, she offered me a new perspective:

Imagine a circle of chairs—each chair representing a role on your team.

• When someone hesitated, I sat in their chair and did it for them.
• When they didn’t do it my way, I corrected them.

And then I wondered why they didn’t seem committed.

Meanwhile, they wondered when I was going to push them out of the chair and sit down again.

The danger of one right way.

Why did I do this? Because I believed there was one right way.

I thought I was flexible and open to possibilities, but my actions said otherwise.
I constantly worried and looked for proof my team wasn’t doing it right.

What was the real issue? Control.

Where there is control, leadership, creativity, energy, and innovation diminish.

What was I really measuring?

From my team’s perspective:

• By not trusting them, I trained them to let me do it.
• By being unclear about what mattered and why, they didn’t know what to change.
• By stepping in to fix things, I made perfection more important than growth in learning and leadership.

That environment crushed their energy and excitement. Every time I intervened, I took away their chance to grow into the leaders I hoped they’d become.

They were committed, but they weren’t trusted, empowered, or energized.

The question I should have asked.

What is it like to work with me?

The answer to this question tells you everything you need to know to be a better leader. But you have to be brave enough to ask it.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the boss or the team member. What matters is being the kind of leader who unleashes potential and helps everyone succeed together.

You do this not by sitting in the chairs, but by standing behind them, offering your unique lens and perspective to elevate your team members and their work.

So next time you feel that familiar worry about commitment, ask yourself instead:

Do I know what it’s like to work with me?

Then, apply what you learn to be the leader you know you can be.

Enjoy!

Sara

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